WHAT, No Cheerleaders?

This year will be the first time in the 45 year history of the Super Bowl that there will be NO CHEERLEADERS. This is very strange considering the game is being played at the home of the world renowned Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Neither the Green Bay Packers or Pittsburgh Steelers employ cheerleaders for their football teams along with Da Bears, Lions, Browns and the NY Football Giants. These are all long time franchises that seem to have no need for the bosomy bouncy gals. As for Green Bay, it's just too cold and they could not be scantily dressed so what's the use. As for Pittsburgh, it is cold most of the time as well and they would get in the way of those Terrible Towels. The NFL has also stated that they will not bring in "ringer" cheerleaders either. At first thought I would think, what a crock of crap! No beautiful babes on the sidelines? However, after further review, why do we need them? If you are at the game your can't hear them, see them or need them to lead a cheer. For the Super Bowl they are not going to entertain the crowd at half time because The Black Eyed Peas are going to take care of that. I think I will eat and drain the dragon at half time. It appears that there are several reasons for not having cheerleaders which means there will be a void of strutting beauties not bending over on the sidelines. There is one other reason however as to why no cheerleaders. You know what's coming here. All young beautiful women in the Arlington Area have been locked down because "Little Ben" is coming to town. Anyone with estrogen in their system is on high alert! The NFL failed to mention this reason. As I sit here and ponder this development, I think of only more camera shots of Ben Rapistberger to make up the difference. Actually, I say bring in the ringers so we don't have to see more camera shots of the reconstructed face of Ben. I know I will miss the jumping, rolling, writhing and butt thrusting. What about you?

Alert: Arlington just raised the alert to Def-Con 2.